One Caregiver’s Perspective

P

eggy Scarlata credits the staff at the Miller School’s Comprehensive Center for Brain Health with making her a better caregiver — even to herself. She started mindfulness-based psychotherapy in 2019 with Iris Cohen, M.S.W., LCSW, as Scarlata’s husband, Peter, battled with Lewy body dementia and she struggled to care for him. Although her husband passed on in 2022, Scarlata continues the therapy. She shares her story in hopes that others will learn of the program and get the life-changing help they often don’t realize they need.

My husband had gotten ill with something we didn’t understand. It took me three years to find the Comprehensive Center for Brain Health, and he immediately was diagnosed as having Lewy body dementia. I didn’t pursue any support right away because I was in over my head and didn’t even recognize help when it was offered.

Once I reached out, everything changed. It was the turning point of my journey of caregiving for this horrible disease he had, and I credit Iris Cohen with getting me through it. First, she validated what I was seeing and what I was doing. She pointed out what I could be doing differently, especially for myself. There was kindness, there was compassion, there was recognition of what I was going through and what my family was going through.

Iris taught me to be resilient, to accept what was happening and then gave me coping mechanisms to deal with it all. She taught me to take a breath, observe, put it in perspective. She reassured me I was doing a great job and said to stop beating myself up. I’m certain I became a better, calmer, more resourceful caregiver because of this support.

I’m in ongoing counseling at the center. There are a lot of things to grapple with after your loved one passes. People should know about the center, because you need the support, and the support is there. You just have to take that first step.